Of all the things that seemed like they were going to loom large in the ‘OH NO OH NO OH NO’ list of adjustments, driving on the other (*cough* wrong) side of the road was far less of an ordeal than I had anticipated.

Upon my arrival here, I procured myself some transportation in the form of a wasabi green VW Bug, a truly magnificent automobile, purchased primarily for its colour and the fact I wouldn’t have issues in parking it.

The Wee Green Beastie with other cars of similar standing.
The Wee Green Beastie with other cars of similar standing.

Now, back home in Oz, I was known for my aversion to city driving. Here, however, I had no one to hand my keys to/bribe with food/have a tantrum at til they offered to be chauffer. So I have had to suck it up, put my big girl pants on and negotiate freeways, parkways, highways and byways, MY WAY.

Things I have noted about driving, Murica-style:

1)

That big ol’ 65 prominently displayed on the side of the road is not the speed limit.

No.

It isn’t.

I don’t care what the sign says, according to EVERY OTHER MOTORIST, 65 is the minimum you can go without being overtaken, tailgated or otherwise cussed out.

2)

There is some kind of tariff on indicators which charges per use.

I figure this is the case because gosh darn it, no one really wants to utilize theirs.

Which kind of licks elbow since they’re a jolly good way of INDICATING that you’re going to swerve in front of me posthaste.

3)

All Americans are tutored at a young age in the super secret meaning of coloured curbs. I missed this class/memo/inherited intuitive knowledge and thusly do not know that a red stripe means fire lane, a green means 15 minute parking and a rainbow means fabulous parking only.

You know what would help distinguish these special parking zones a little more clearly? A FREAKING SIGN.

4)

If you own a ute, sorry, a TRUCK, you will almost certainly have the following accoutrement: a very prominent US flag, waving proudly in the back of the tray. It will be bigger than a bedsheet and block my view of oncoming traffic with its patriotic glory.

Thank you for alerting me to my location via this handy Murica-Mobile !
Thank you for alerting me to my location via this handy Murica-Mobile !

Nonetheless, I have managed to negotiate the roads with minimal incidents.

I have noticed I have an allergy to peak hour traffic though.

It makes me break out in swearing

This is me experiencing my first traffic jam. One hour stuck on the way to work. No really, this is my happy face
This is me experiencing my first traffic jam. One hour stuck on the way to work. No really, this is my happy face

Lastly, a big shout out to my GPS lady. Gosh, she’s a wonder of modern technology. I have worked at Two Men and a Truck for near on 3 weeks now and not once has she ever taken me the same way home. She’s either messing with me or really wants me to enjoy every back street, alley way and obscure intersection in the Greater Sacramento Area.

**Join us every Friday for the further adventures of Tanya, our token Aussie and new Director of Sales and Marketing as she experiences the wide wild world of Sacramento in her whimsical, bumbling way.

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