But I love the company of small fuzzy creatures so I started to investigate California critter companions and I came across the Chinchilla. They are soft and fluffy and have adorable little faces and THEY ARE NOT OVERGROWN HAIRY RATS like my grandmother seems to think. I did my research, found a Chinny Ranch out in Lincoln and soon procured two little fuzzbutts: a fat frumpy grey whose name is Poki and a delicate ebony darling called Kyoya.
They have pretty distinct personality traits.
Poki enjoys food.
Biscuits in particular.
That chinny would sell her soul for a biscuit and not even notice it was gone. She has no compunction about literally taking the food from her sister’s mouth which leaves Kyoya a little confused when she takes a bite of thin air instead of the raisin she had there a few milliseconds prior.
Kyoya however, cares less for food and more about spending time in her pirate ship hammock and looking depressed. She excels in both of these activities. She certainly practices enough.
Chinchillas also give me the opportunity to make spectacular puns on a daily basis. These include:
“What are Poki and Kyoya doing? Oh just CHINCHILLING”
“You’ve been naughty. That’s 5 seconds in the CHIN BIN”
“Little pig let me in, not by the hairs on my CHINNY CHIN CHIN”
Annnnd I’m out.