We have already discussed the utterly depressing amount of holidays I get here as opposed to Australia.

5 days.

5.

Count ’em.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

So when a long weekend raises its pretty head, I like to tack on one of the days onto it and go adventuring around the country to see what I can see. Labor Day took me to Seattle, which is in Washington.

Lookit the obligatory skyline at night view. I pass Tourist Pics 1.1
Lookit the obligatory skyline at night view.
I pass Tourist Pics 1.1

Now, if you’re like me, you’ll be confused.

“Washington?” you’ll think “Isn’t that on the other side of the country?”

HA! NO!

Those trixy Muricans, they’re trying to fool us by tacking on a DC to that one and having it be an entirely different creature.

Anyhoo, the flight to Seattle was … eventful.

There’s nothing like being told whilst in the air that the plane is in a holding pattern but doesn’t have the fuel to stay in it so there may be an emergency landing.

Run out of fuel mid-air? Really? Do you want us to get out and push?

I don't always eat icecream and cupcakes and fudge for lunch, but when I do, it's in Seattle.
I don’t always eat icecream and cupcakes and fudge for lunch, but when I do, it’s in Seattle.

Seattle itself is hard to describe as a city. It’s like that really trendy, ultra cool friend who is very into fair trade vegan watchbands and gets all enthusiastic about sportsball and dogs.

DOGS.

Is it a law that you must own a dog in Seattle?

Do you get taxed more if you don’t?

Every darn person has at least one canine, most have multiples and every single one is treated like Mutt Royalty.

I’ve never seen so many restaurants with specific dog stations outside. I’ve never seen so many dog-oriented bakeries, accessory stores or walking facilities.

They need to change the city moniker from “The Emerald City” to “Dog Town USA”.

Aside from dogs, I learned that Seattle has a lot of street art.

The Fremont Troll. If you ever want to find this, it's conveniently located at the cross streets of Fremont and Troll. How's that for handy?
The Fremont Troll. If you ever want to find this, it’s conveniently located at the cross streets of Fremont and Troll.
How’s that for handy?

Some of it is very very good. Some of it is very very ordinary. Some of it is very very weird.

And I’m weird, I know weird when I see it.

I don't even have words... but I have questions. Why does egg have a fish? Why is the egg bigger than a rocket? What drugs was this person on when they made this? How do I delete this image from my brain?
I don’t even have words… but I have questions.
Why does egg have a fish?
Why is the egg bigger than a rocket?
What drugs was this person on when they made this?
How do I delete this image from my brain?

I was truly disenchanted by the Giant Shoe Museum. This was hyped on my go-to site for city attractions, atlas obscura, as being a go-to destination but instead of a museum filled with a plethora of shoe-ish memorabilia, I found a wall with 4 windows and a rather disappointing array of footwear. I was neither AMAZED or ASTOUNDED by their selection.

On the subject of ‘museums’ that don’t really warrant the name, the Museum of Bad Art, whilst containing truly abysmal art, was more of a cafe than a museum. However, this magnificent Peep Jesus was breathtaking in it’s aesthetic merit.

20150908_142901
Peep Jesus. On the third day he rose again, when placed into the microwave.

The last thing I will touch on is the slight *cough* obsession with the Seahawks. The kind folk I was staying with explained the prevalence of the number 12 everywhere as the city considering itself the “twelfth man” on the team. Now in Australia, that would mean you were a comedic act who imitated cricket commentators, but here it means you are resolutely dedicated to smothering the city in team colours and plastering everything with the numeral 12.

May I just interject, to an outsider who isn’t even sportsball oriented, this feels more like a cult than fandom, but I am only saying that as I am two states away and can’t be lynched.

I had a small fit of national pride and forced them to watch some youtube footage of AFL…. I don’t know why, I don’t follow that either, but it seemed like the right thing to do.They were most impressed by the lack of padding and athleticism. I glossed over the drug culture and hero worship speech I usually deliver whenever the topic of AFL comes up. Why ruin the illusion for them?

In a very similar spate of ‘Strayanism, I also made the watch clips of ‘The Castle’.

They didn’t get it.

Guess the ‘vibe’ doesn’t translate accross the ocean.

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